Subject: A Perfect Day for a Bananafish-Post
From: Mattis Fishman (mattis@argoscomp.com)
Date: Sun Apr 02 2000 - 14:26:11 EDT
Hello friends,
Well,itlooks like that time again.Perhaps it is the Spring thaw
that ends somany forms of hibernation(but has not cured my
broken space bar, sorry),perhaps it was the quiet period on the
list (just broken by Steven's fine post and a guest appearance
by old Rainer,courtesy of Paul M.) which beckons like a bottle
to an alchoholic, perhaps it'sanotherattack of bananafever.
Your guess is as good a mine, better probably,if you believe
as I do the philosophical dictum I espoused recently- you know me
better than I do myself.
Anyway, it'stime foranother of those reader response posts that
tackle"APerfect Day for Banafish" according to a particular mood
(and I do hope this time to get through this, this time with a mimimum of
twinkliness and a maximum of gallantry).I imagine that our recent
joinees have gathered by now that this is not the first, second,
or third post I have spewed forth on this subject, and that the
rest of you have got your tracingpaper and red pens out so that you
can make corrections to my primitive rendition of a pilgrim soul
and send them to me.Please. (And those of you who are worried that I
might say something *very* stupid here, relax,though inour little soap
opera I am sorry to spoil the suspense).
Of course,I have my doubts here if I willmake it to the end of this
post,just as Seymour never made it from the beach to his wife's
bedside with anything more than a glance. This is because while
happiness and joy may be solid and liquid, that moresubtle state
of mind, icon ofpoets and bane of seventh graders, that four letter
word to which a young man'sthoughts are *always* turned, is a vapor.
But let me assure you (after all the talk about Catcher editions),
that I have the copyrighted Kozusko edition of APFBF, with the last
line whited out, and so suicide will not be the issue here.
By reader response,I hope you have gathered that some recent experience
has altered the mirror I look into when read the story at hand.
(aside to anyone who mightremember: yes I have used all of these
figures of speech before, I am not too proud to admit). That
experience, I amhappy to say is a very pleasant one. It wassimply
that I noticed that the admiration and appreciation I have for someone
with whom I had been merely acquainted has transformed itself against
my will into a preoccupation that concerns me about 20hours a day.
Oh,I know it cannot be sustained at this level, but I hope to be able
to take advantage of this new brightness to search into some corners
while the candle still shines. That pretty much sums up the true
confessions for this episode (exhale, buddies), but the results of
this investigation are what I found more interesting, and will eventually
lead, I hope back to the story,or else I would simply sell this story
to a bookstore on Eigth Ave (sorry, TimesSquare is cleaned up,folks).
*****
The Lab Notebooks of Malte Fishman:
1. 15 minutes after ingesting 750micrograms (oops! wrong experience there)
Day of recognition minus one: I finds myself grinning like an idiot
and waving to little girls in car windows -nothing unusual there.
All the snippets of conversation on the sidewalk are about me:"I told
him it is ridiculous". "well *I* would never do such a thing".
conclusion: paranoia, nascent scizophenia?
2. Day of recognition: My wife appears even more beautiful to me.
I smilemore, wash the dishes (well, I always do that) don't argue.
Darned if she doesn'tsmile back more. surprise:I love her morethan ever
with no thought of competition. conclusion: love is like kindling
acandle from a candle, which does not in any way diminish the original
flame.
3. Recognition plus one: The radio has become painful tolisten to.
Every song is about a certain young woman...Even the announcers
seem to knowwhat I'm thinking,though thankfully the ads are as banal
as ever. The sunshine isa blessing, the birds my co-conspirators
(or should I say co-conspiritors?)conclusion:banana fever
[note: error analysis is being left as an exercise for the reader]
*****
So, there you have what I am sure is a very common experience,
expressed in less than eloquent terms, but with a few smiles
hopefully thrown in.
But to get back to our story,I will simply rephrase the previous
experience as a new perspective on the story (not, by the way,
because that is the only context in which I view my new state ofmind,
do I appear so objective and surgical? but because otherwise I look
even stupider (yes, I'm asking for it) that I already do).
It struck me that perhaps Seymour'sattack of banana fever was
a rapidly progessing acute case, brought on in a predisposed individual
by short series of events. That S.loved Muriel is not out of the question,
even though we may have to go to the later diaries to support it, he
did marry her. That he loved Sybil, in a very chaste sense, in an
appreciation of innocence seems so true too, the kiss on the foot
being the joyful expression of this sentiment.Yet, that moment, that
recognitionof his love brought with it the magnification of all his
related emotions,including his love for Muriel, and as it washed over him
as the waves did to Sybil, he saw himself as a bananafish, where every
sensory input resonated in the same pitch as his own love until he
recognized the potential for his own inability to handle his feelings.
As Sybil ran away without regret, he made his way inexorably toMuriel,
and yet- and as I said,Icannot understand the suicide so perhapsit
all falls apart here - he was never able to do more than glance
(and I have looked in the mirror and seem that he glanced lovingly)
at her before succumbing.
This is really only trying to bring out one new point, namely
that the love ofSybil and Muriel werecomplementary rather than contradictory,
though from the raw data in the note books, you are free todraw your
own conclusions.I certainly hope that I have not embarrassed you for
my sake.
Anyway, in that spirit of generosity I have described, I will borrow
a page from Madhava and sign off,
Love,
Mattis
p.s. by the way,I willprobably be unable, from the standpoint
of time and energy to follow up on this, so please accept my
apologies.
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