Re: letter to Tim
Tim O'Connor (oconnort@nyu.edu)
Thu, 05 Aug 1999 14:45:55 -0400
[Apologies for the delay, but I managed to spectacularly break my ankle
en route to having lunch with Will, who sends his fond regards to
everyone.]
On Tue, Aug 03, 1999 at 08:39:58AM +0100, Scottie Bowman wrote:
> SB: '... A fifteen year old adult in a community of thirty
> year old infants ...'
>
> TO'C: '... Come on, Scottie ... you need not be so churlish. Eh?...'
>
> SB: And yet, within the hour & without any prompting
> from me, another newcomer, the sixteen year old Carl,
> seems to be casting his metaphorical eyes to heaven at
> the sound of: '... 30 year olds blabber on about Star Wars ...
> [it] gave me a feeling of 'why bother? ...'
Although the sense of solidarity is no doubt a comfort, there are some
people (especially people who don't know the context, and those who
neither behave like nor resemble infants) who dislike this community
being described as infants. I think even an UNreasonable person might
be able to see that perspective. Certainly it might make a newcomer ask
herself, "Why the hell did I wander in HERE and why should I stay?"
> Is it so hard to think my welcome to Jocelyn was other than
> absolutely genuine? And for the reasons offered in that first post?
Sure, Scottie, it could have been genuine. It just sounded unsavory and
not very welcoming and demeaning to those of us who try to contribute
intelligently to the discourse here. Obviously we often fail in your
eyes, but we are like a cast of Beckett characters, and we go on because
we must go on.
If your message had been written without a sardonic tone, I missed that
detail, and suppose a friendlier fellow would offer apologies.
> TO'C: '... you'd do us both a favor by stopping such assumptions
> about me and anyone else here whose work you do not know ...'
>
> SB: I presumed, Tim, you, were giving us a glimpse of your
> fundamental attitude to writing when you confessed:
> '... We were going to have coffee today, but I had to write
> some insipid prose for work ...'
I guess we are both mature enough that I need not mention the dangers
inherent in making such assumptions.
My fundamental attitude could not be further from that; unlike you --
writing a medical report for an insurer -- I write work-for-hire prose
with a different part of my brain, and a different pen (or keyboard)
than I write anything else. I wouldn't waste the good energy, or even
the good ink or the decent keyboard, to try to beautify a chronology of
events, which is itself about as flat and inherently uninteresting as
barnyard-variety manure -- which is great stuff in the garden but not
on the dinner plate.
> The world is full of people who tell us they have to write
> crap to make a living or they're saving the real stuff, the good stuff,
> for the Book. But any serious writer - whether Fay Weldon in
> her agency days recommending we Go to Work on an Egg,
> or old Ernie filing his copy for the Kansas Star (or even my humble
> self writing a medical report for the insurance company) -
> will tell you it can't be turned on & off like a tap.
I've heard those people, and I have known some, and I have known a few
who turned out pretty good work while writing tripe to pay the bills.
I, though, make sure that computers are safe, and help people who get
utterly befuddled with computers and such technology, and I have the
luxury of not needing to write crap or save "good stuff" for "the Book."
(There is no single book in my life, Scottie.) At any rate, as with
writing to this list, I can indeed turn it on and off, just as an actor
can. Messages like this, as with timelines and other work-related
papers, have no connection with my heart. They're mechanical tasks.
That's why I asked you to avoid making assumptions about the work I do.
I'll leave it to others reading this to defend themselves if they feel
the need to do so.
> If you have
> the genuine infection you have to go full bore all the time.
> Tiresome but true. Those who don't have already fallen victim
> to one or other of the dreaded Enemies of Promise - or were,
> perhaps, never real contenders in the first place.
Scottie, if you write medical reports with the passion I save for
fiction, they must indeed be wonderful reports -- certainly superior to
any I've read by doctors who have treated me.
> TO'C: '...I... return to find that there's been a general tone
> of nastiness lately ... The level of rancor has been cranked up
> pretty high ...'
>
> SB: I find this an extraordinary comment. Leaving aside
> my own sour faced contributions (which everyone does, anyway)
> when was the atmosphere ever warmer or more jovial with
> the names of pop artists & songs tossed merrily back & forth
> & eager datings made for the Harvard book store & across
> the Canadian border?
Aside from my own reaction, I was commenting under the influence of all
the people who privately wrote me to ask why things had become so
unpleasant lately. Because beneath the casual chat of musicians and movies
is an undertow of nastiness -- or a tone resembling nastiness.
> Boisterousness is not QUITE the same thing as destructiveness.
> And laughter at teatime does not ALWAYS lead to tears
> before bedtime.
Indeed. In this context, the statement makes as much sense to me as
any other random series of words, because I was not talking about laughter
at teatime. Rather, I was trying to avoid having people scared away in the
belief that they'd face public ridicule for making a harmless comment.
Or to put it more succinctly, I haven't behaved like an infant since my
early days of infancy, and I suspect that applies to other people here.
This is funny, Scottie -- here I am, responding in disagreement to one
of your crusty messages, as if it were personal; yet it would dishearten
me to see you leave (as you've thought to do in the past) because you
might feel that what you contribute is like vinegar.
As I urge with other people, I'm replying to your message, not attacking
you, because I respect and listen to your point of view at its grumpiest.
However, I choose to defend the distinction between what I write for
hire and what I write at my fiction desk. They may be the same for you.
They are very different for me.
--tim o'connor