Want to get depressed?
Eryk Charles Arthur Salvaggio (ecs1@keene.edu)
Tue, 09 Dec 1997 17:22:00 -0500 (EST)
In regards to your letter bethany, you should definately NEVER go to
http://members.aol.com/jdsletters/guest.html
It's a collection of letters to JD Salinger that the host of the web site
plans to put into a book and published. Here's a few samples (and none
are copyrighted) I've chosen an order that gets progressively worse:
Dec 3, 1997
15:27
Dear J. D. Salinger, I was told that you keep yourself from the rest of
the world. That you have written books and are not
going to publish them until after you die. I have heard wierd stories
about you and I was just wondering if they are true. I
am presently doing a report on you. I love the book Catcher in the Rye,
it is one of the few books that I actually loved to
read in school. If you could, could you help me on my report. I would
like to know how your schooling and life affected
your writings. I would appreciate this if you could help me out. thank you
tiger1463
Eileen Russell
Dec 1, 1997
06:49
Dear J. D. Salinger, I understand why you have been silent. While all
these people lament that you have been silent all
these years, I look at your most well known book, Catcher in the Rye,
which I have just recently read, and I see very
clearly why you are silent. If I was as talentless a writer as you are,
I'd be pretty quiet too. I mean, you career peaked at
the ranting of some loser kid who got kicked out of school and spend 200
pages bitching and whining and crying like a
girl. You didn't even bother to include an actuall plot and people still
eat that crap up! What's wrong with these people?
People are fools. You write one lousy book and somebody claimes it
influenced the murder of John Lennon, suddenly
your most emberrassing waste of paper is a house hold word! If I were you
I would have moved to Canada. But
suddenly, what was a story about a whiny little loser having a nervous
breakdown is apparently (Much to your surprize I
am sure) Stacked with universal truths on what it means to be human. Your
indecent, plotless ramblings are now chocked
with truth about the human condition. What was it? A joke on your editor
that backfired? An attempt to commit financial
suicide? The result of a few too many shots of vodka and a long sleepless
night? What possessed you to show this tripe to
anyone? You could never have assumed that people would be as stupid as
they were. Nor could you have forseen the
murder that would make people hear your name, most of them for the first
time. But if they had to hear you name, why for
this horrid waste of paper? Success is fine, but success with a terrible
pointless book because of a chance murder of a
once talented musician? Life can be cruel sometimes. What was it like to
write the book that caused the death of John
Lennon? I don't know! What's it like to be drunk while typing too quickly
any other night? Morons. So, I understand. I
understand completely. In my mind these fools should all leave you alone
until you actually write something that not only
becomes successful on it's own merrit, but is in fact worth reading. I'm
sure it's bound to happen. Someday. sincearly,
Bryan T Weiss III
drcheese@rockstarlabs.com
the wonder cheese
Dec 7, 1997
19:59
Dear J. D. Salinger, I'm a junior at Richland High School in Richland,
WA. My English class has this author project, which
is a full year project. Everyone has a different author to research. So,
I thought I might write a letter to you asking for
some useful information. I've been reading your book with nine short
stories, and I would like to know if you have another
short story available on the Net. My 2nd quarter requirements tell me to
read at least 10 stories by my author. I'm having
some trouble finding another story published by you. It would be helpful
if you put one of your stories on a Web page.
Also, this quarter, I need to research some critiques about your writing.
I can easily find some in my school library. But if
you could provide me with some analytical details on your works, it would
be very useful. That's all for now. Thank you
for your time.
ranajoy@3-cities.com
Sean Adhikari
Yep. Thats what you missed in Short Story class...except no one mentione
dthat Seymour was a child molester yet. If they do, I'll be sure to let
you know.
-ecas