Gulp!

Paul Kennedy (kennedyp@toronto.cbc.ca)
Thu, 02 Dec 1999 14:33:07 -0500 (EST) 

In my business, we are told to begin at the beginning, which is often easier
said than done.  It's always best to start by asking 'where to begin?'.

Greetings! Friendly Fishes (you too Scottie!)!  I didn't know how much I'd
missed you all until I accidentally clicked a bananafish digest prompt on my
computer the other day.  Subconsciously, I must has suspected something, or
I would/should have asked Tim to delete my name from the list some time ago.
I'm almost afraid to jump in (SPLASH!) for fear of entangling myself in a
million messy discussions for which I have no time.  But here goes:

BEDTIME READING (If you have not yet attained legal age in the juristiction
where you live STOP READING NOW!):  Some years ago, I managed to purchase an
autographed set of Richard Burton's wonderful multi-volume translation of
THE THOUSAND AND ONE NIGHTS.  (Strangely enough, I bought this set at 11:00
pm on a Sunday night in a Harlem second hand book shop.  Being a
chicken-shit white guy in darkest Harlem, I had no money in my pocket at the
time.  The bookseller sent me the set C.O.D.!!!!!  But that, as they say, is
another story; or as Scherezade might have said "on beginning to see the
dawn of the day, I shall cease to say my permitted say....")  Now, it's not
quite the KAMA SUTRA (which RFB also translated) but it's some of the best
erotic fiction that has ever been put to paper.  And you have to understand
that putting it to paper was a mixed-blessing for poor Burton.  He was
ostracized as a pornographer, and has been misunderstood by all but a
handful of readers ever since....  I put it to the fishbowl that if couples
included a promise to read a night from the NIGHTS to one-another every
night, and lived up to that promise, the institution of marriage would not
be the laughing stock that it is today!
(Now, I know that I'm going to be attacked for the flagrant racism and
sexism that jumps off the pages almost as often as hung-like-horses
blackamoors fall from palm trees into the harem, but I quite frankly don't
care.  It's one of the greatest classics in WORLD literature.  It also works
wonderfully as erotica.  And, if size matters, it goes on and on forever.
There are more appendices than there are original stories!   ....besides,
I'd also put it to those of you who we used to quaintly call bra-burners
that Scherezade can be read as a proto-feminist.  She used stories to save
the lives of all the women in the world.  I can think of no more noble use
for literature.)

I guess that's probably enough for this first post.  It's good to be back.
I've missed you all.

Cheers, 

Paul

OSR--Did I hear somebody making disparaging noises about De Daumier-Smith?
Until I stand corrected, I believe this story is the only one in the canon
that boasts a CANADIAN setting.  So in the interest of my national honour
(PLEASE note PROPER spelling!) I challenge anybody who doesn't like Bambi
Kramer (who hails from the place where this is being typed) to a duel!