Subject: Re: Alsen's royal pain
ClokwrkOrj@aol.com
Date: Tue Feb 01 2000 - 19:06:07 EST
I am still very confused about Seymour's suicide. I read Perf. Day for
Banafish before anything else and I thought maybe he did it because he
couldn't take living with his wife and mother in law but when I read Raise
High the Roofbeam I remember somewhare in his diary excerpt that he could not
attend his owm wedding because he was so overcome with joy. Also there was
the part about the marks left on his body from the beautiful expierences he
had. He seemed to be unable to let expierence be fleeting, he had to hold
onto the expierences, much like Holden did. Did Seymour kill himself because
he was so full of these beautiful things he could not continue? I think
that's why he's a bananafish, and he has the banana feaver, right? It seemed
like Holden came very close to suicide in Catcher but there seemed to be more
reasons for that then just not being able to let go. I think I sort of get
the idea of bananafish, though.
I was walking down the streets of New York City on a sunny day. I noticed a
young
homeless man, about my own age, sitting shirtless on the street side. In his
hands he held a long stick with a string tied to the end and a white paper
cup dangling just above the pavement. Across his hairless chest was a long
winding wound, traced by a line of jagged stitches. It ran about a foot long
from just below his breast to beneath his navel. Something about the image
awakened my whole being and I was overcome by the desire to take his picture.
I needed this image with her forever. Perhaps it was his eyes.They were
large, black, glazed eyes that looked into me until I could not breathe. It
wasso quick, just a glimpse. I shudder to imagine that he exists somewhere,
yet I can not look at him. Now I see him everywhere, his dark eyes gaze at me
in everyone I see. Later I made a short film about him. It is very visual and
difficult to explain but it consisted of intercutting shots of me and an
actor I had dressed uplike him. Then there was a small scene wherein I sat
next to him for a while, kissed him, sat some more, and left. HBO payed me
100$ for it. (yay) I hope to put it on actual film one day. Anyway, that wsa
my little moment that keeps popping up now and then.
becky
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