Haiku error messages

Malcolm Lawrence (malcolm@wolfenet.com)
Thu, 19 Feb 1998 10:47:09 -0800

A little midweek levity. Enjoy.

----------------------------


 Three things are certain:
 Death, taxes, and lost data.
 Guess which has occurred.


 Everything is gone;
 Your life's work has been destroyed.
 Squeeze trigger (yes/no)?


 A file that big?
 It might be very useful.
 But now it is gone.


 Windows NT crashed.
 I am the Blue Screen of Death.
 No one hears your screams.


 Errors have occurred.
 We won't tell you where or why.
 Lazy programmers.


 Seeing my great fault
 Through darkening blue windows
 I begin again


 The code was willing,
 It considered your request,
 But the chips were weak.


 Printer not ready.
 Could be a fatal error.
 Have a pen handy?


 Server's poor response
 Not quick enough for browser.
 Timed out, plum blossom.


 Chaos reigns within.
 Reflect, repent, and reboot.
 Order shall return.


 Login incorrect.
 Only perfect spellers may
 enter this system.


 This site has been moved.
 We'd tell you where, but then we'd
 have to delete you.


 wind catches lily
 scatt'ring petals to the wind:
 segmentation fault


 ABORTED effort:
 Close all that you have.
 You ask way too much.


 First snow, then silence.
 This thousand dollar screen dies
 so beautifully.


 With searching comes loss
 and the presence of absence:
 "My Novel" not found.


 The Tao that is seen
 Is not the true Tao, until
 You bring fresh toner.


 The Web site you seek
 cannot be located but
 endless others exist


 Stay the patient course
 Of little worth is your ire
 The network is down


 A crash reduces
 your expensive computer
 to a simple stone.


 There is a chasm
 of carbon and silicon
 the software can't bridge


 Yesterday it worked
 Today it is not working
 Windows is like that


 To have no errors
 Would be life without meaning
 No struggle, no joy


 You step in the stream,
 but the water has moved on.
 This page is not here.


 No keyboard present
 Hit F1 to continue
 Zen engineering?


 Hal, open the file
 Hal, open the damn file, Hal
 open the, please Hal


 Out of memory.
 We wish to hold the whole sky,
 But we never will.


 Having been erased,
 The document you're seeking
 Must now be retyped.


 The ten thousand things
 How long do any persist?
 Netscape, too, has gone.


 Rather than a beep
 Or a rude error message,
 These words: "File not found."


 Serious error.
 All shortcuts have disappeared
 Screen. Mind. Both are blank.