In a message dated 98-01-08 17:50:47 EST, you write: << that whatever the hell he was thinking on the driveway that day with charlotte was somehow connected in his mind, by some seymour logic, to throwing a rock at himself >> this is incoherant because i'm trying to use a written language to describe feelings that could never be classified and written...think of these words as approximations, d'ac? i always was under the impression that these two things were like a parallel / reciprocal cause and effect: seymour threw that rock because she was too perfect, and too beautiful in what she was...he interrupted her and by that ended the perfection he was seeing [as he was young he didn't know how to deal with it]. he shot himself because he still saw the beauty of humanity and simple human-ness and, well, everything---as too beautiful and perfect in being what it is for him to possibly bear...futile, in a sense...but he could no longer bear that kind of happiness-agony. so he shot himself, not them...throwing the rock was only temporary...he could only throw a certain number of 'rocks' at the beauty...the bullet was, um, permanent...for him. bethany