Re: FW: gunnery

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In a message dated 98-01-08 17:50:47 EST, you write:

<< that whatever the hell he was thinking on the driveway that
 day with charlotte was somehow connected in his mind, by some seymour
 logic, to throwing a rock at himself >>

this is incoherant because i'm trying to use a written language to describe
feelings that could never be classified and written...think of these words as
approximations, d'ac?  
i always was under the impression that these two things were like a parallel /
reciprocal cause and effect:  seymour threw that rock because she was too
perfect, and too beautiful in what she was...he interrupted her and by that
ended the perfection he was seeing [as he was young he didn't know how to deal
with it].    he shot himself because he still saw the beauty of humanity and
simple human-ness and, well, everything---as too beautiful and perfect in
being what it is for him to possibly bear...futile, in a sense...but he could
no longer bear that kind of happiness-agony.  so he shot himself, not
them...throwing the rock was only temporary...he could only throw a certain
number of 'rocks' at the beauty...the bullet was, um, permanent...for him. 
bethany

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