Re: hemingway

Thor Cameron (my_colours@hotmail.com)
Mon, 07 Jun 1999 22:09:22 -0700 (PDT) 

Dear Jordie:

After the weirdness over Memorial day, I decided not to post here anymore, 
but your appeal has touched me.  I appreciate your posts because they tend 
not to be flowery, just a plain, well-thought-out opinion.
OK, my story: night/weekend college courses starting at 8.  Mensa at 16.  
Traumatic family deaths, depressed, lonely teen throwing himself into sex & 
drugs.  Married 12 yrs, sober.  Wife fell out of love, now raises my 
daughter alone.  I've spent time in temples of every religion I could.  I 
gave up Christianity at 12 & although mostly settled, I'm still seeking.
I'm a diagosed officially depressed.  I can't remember a day in the past two 
decades that I haven't though of suicide.
Everywhere I've gone to find smart folks, enlightened souls, or kindred 
spirits, I always find pettuness & silliness.  This isn't necessarily a bad 
thing, but occaisionally annoying.
Perhaps I despise in others what I am most guilty of, but I found what 
brings me the most comfort is blessing that which annoys me & only paying 
attention to what is truth & beauty.
An imoprtant lesson that I forgot here recently & now, apologizing, 
embarrassed, I bow out.
Keep posting, Jordie, stay where the smart folks are, (& there's quite a few 
here), and just wade through their crap, as they wade through yours.
Namaste,
Thor

>O.K.  All of this is honest, no trickery.  I feel like
>shit.  Monday is hard enough.  I have been through
>listserv's before and, since my christmas gift of a
>computer, I've been wondering if my internet connection is
>worth it.  I am wondering what I must say before I am
>'redeemed' as a person who can communicate with anyone.  I
>have left a bunch of open ended messages and none so far
>have been anything but proud, scholarly or fearful.
>Rarely beautiful but among those, I cherish, but I lack
>the arrogance to mention the names.
>
>I really don't want to go away, but in the dialogue I've
>seen, I am the unwanted stranger.  I am most hurt by the
>silent ones.
>
>Among the 'bigshots', the adults who subscribe to the
>past, please let me know if I, as a 22 year old angry
>person who tried both fluexotine and paroxetine and who
>was diagnosed as a very fucking smart boy when he was a
>young boy (I shit you not, one thirty fucking eight, I
>hate 'smart' people with an ego driven joi de vie.  Just
>remember, egg-glib-buttslammin-fellows, if you have
>nothing to say except mean shit, I will have meaner shit
>to deal.  Arrogant, yes.  True, maybe) and who shivers in
>communicato with anyone aside from other human facial
>expressions and glibbins.  The truth is, I hate you all; I
>am trying to love you.  It fucking kills me though, when
>you ignore me.  I'll behave if you pay attention to me -
>ultimatum.
>
>J Rovira <jrovira@juno.com> wrote:
> >
> > I have heard myself that King James, the sponsor of the
>King Jimmy
> > version of the Bible, was wantonly immoral in a large
>number of ways, and
> > homosexually promiscuous. . .
> >
> > BUT, the King James translation is not the only one that
>condemns
> > physical expressions of homosexuality.  Every
>translation I've ever read
> > on this subject reads about the same way.
> >
> > Jim
> >
> > On Sun, 06 Jun 1999 01:19:03 -0400 Aaron
><aaron.brager@writeme.com>
> > writes:
> > >Being phony to oneself is one of the worst things I can
>think of.
> > >
> > >Being forced to be phony to society isn't bad, as long
>as you aren't
> > >using
> > >faulty logic to justify it.
> > >
> > >Speaking of gay people, is anyone here highly
>knowledgeable regarding
> > >the
> > >bible?  A (gay) friend said that King James was gay;
>and that the KJ
> > >translation of the bible is the only one that says it
>is wrong.  Any
> > >truth
> > >to this?
> > >
> > >----- Original Message -----
> > >From: Camille Scaysbrook <verona_beach@geocities.com>
> > >To: <bananafish@lists.nyu.edu>
> > >Sent: Sunday, June 06, 1999 1:06 AM
> > >Subject: Re: hemingway
> > >
> > >
> > >> Aaron wrote:
> > >> > Does it count as phony if one is forced into being
>phony via peer
> > >> pressure
> > >> > and death threats?
> > >> >
> > >> > > Hey! I'm still getting over the news that he was
>gay! What a
> > >painful
> > >> way
> > >> > to
> > >> > > live your life - as a phony all the way
> > >>
> > >> I meant being phony to yourself. To me there is no
>sadder fate than
> > >to
> > >> ignore that wonderful, timeless axiom `to thine own
>self be true'.
> > >It's
> > >> truly a quote to live by. If an individual is forced
>by society to
> > >live in
> > >> a way that is against their innermost self, then all
>the sadder. It
> > >just
> > >> seems a shame that Hemingway could not deal with it
>the way that
> > >countless
> > >> other writers could - W.H. Auden, Isherwood, Capote,
>Vidal, so on
> > >(and I
> > >> chose them because they lived in an era in which it
>was just as
> > >unaccepted
> > >> as in Hemingway's time) . It just makes me a little
>sad that it
> > >makes me
> > >> question the vicissicitude of Hemingway's work - all
>that macho
> > >posturing,
> > >> all the gunning and gal-ing - it was all a
> > >> masquerade ...
> > >>
> > >> Camille
> > >> verona_beach@geocities.com
> > >> @ THE ARTS HOLE
>http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Theater/6442
> > >> @ THE INVERTED FOREST
>http://www.angelfire.com/pa/invertedforest
> > >>
> > >
> >
> >
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