Re: zooey cam- the analysis

blah b b blah (jrovira@juno.com)
Fri, 12 Mar 1999 19:19:04 -0500 (EST)

Ok, Meredith, you have an interesting thesis going there.  I want you to
know that I disagree with it, but that's ok.  That doesn't matter.  I
won't even tell you Why I disagree with it.  If you were writing a senior
honors thesis or something I'd tell you why, but otherwise, so what?  :) 
Your thesis could conceivably work.

ANYWAYS, what I think you're trying to do is set up an opposition between
intelligence and religion in your paper.  But you don't so much try to
set up the opposition as you assume the opposition and write the paper
taking it for granted.  Yes, Franny is a religious character and Zooey
seems to be acting out of his intelligence, but I think you need to look
more deeply than that.  I think your point would be more powerfully made
if you demonstrated how Franny's intelligence was working against her
religious impulses to begin with.

I would look more closely at Franny's interaction with Lane.  In some
ways Lane was a lot like Zooey, acting out of his intelligence. 
Characterize Lane more.  What does it mean that he's a "section man"? 
And read VERY CLOSELY Franny's letter to Lane, especially the last couple
lines where she says she doesn't want him to analyze everything,
"especially me."  So what does "intelligence" mean to Franny?

And, another very important question -- is Franny having problems "with
religion" or having problems with something else and resorting to
religion to deal with it?  What is that something else?  

Some general advice for your writing...clean it up just a little bit. 
Your thoughts moved clearly and freely from one point to the next, but
you could economize just a bit.  

Here are a couple suggestions just on the first few sentences.  The
original reads:

"J.D.  Salinger  examines  through  the  characters  Franny  and  Zooey 
Glass
the  struggle  between  religion  and  intelligence  in  the  book 
Franny
and  Zooey. The  book  is  divided  up  into  two  sections,  the  first
section,  Franny,  deals  with  an  introduction  to  Franny,  the 
character
that  represents  the  religious  side  of  the  conflict.  The  second
section  introduces  Zooey,  who  embodies  the  intelligent  part  of 
the
struggle,  and  verbalized  the  struggle  with  Franny.
At  the  beginning  of  Franny  the  reader  is  introduced  not  to 
Franny,
but  to  her  boyfriend  Lane.  Although  not  part  of  the  religious
struggle,  he  personifies  everything  in  Franny's  life  that  had 
caused
her  to  seek  religion.  The  setting  is  in  a  restaurant  where  she
loses  patience  with  him,  and   puts  down  everything  he  wants  to 
talk
about,  because  it  all  seems  fake  to  her. The  only  thing  she 
had
anything  pleasant  to  say  about  was  when  Lane  asks  her  about  a
little  book  he  sees  in  her  purse."

Suggested revision (making as few changes as possible and trying to let
you sound like you):

"In _Franny and Zooey_, J.D.  Salinger uses the characters Franny and
Zooey Glass to  examine  the  struggle  between  religion  and 
intelligence. The  book  is  divided  into  two  sections [you may want
to mention here that "Franny" and "Zooey" were originally independently
released short stories later put together in book form];  the  first
section,  "Franny,"  introduces  Franny Glass,  the  character  
representing  religion in  the  conflict.  The  second section 
introduces  Zooey Glass,  who  embodies intelligence and  verbalized  the
 struggle  with  Franny [this last clause is awkward and unclear.  Does
he spell out the nature of the conflict in words?  Or does he just
verbally abuse her?  Or both?].   "Franny"  opens with an introduction 
to  Franny's  boyfriend  Lane.  Although  not  part  of  the  religious
struggle,  he  personifies  everything  in  Franny's  life  that  caused
her  to  seek  religion.  The  story is set  is  in a  restaurant. 
During their meal she loses  patience  with  him and everything  he 
wants  to talk about,  because  it  all [their lives? their conversation?
their outlook?  be specific]  seems  fake  to  her.  [reword the opening
clause of this sentence]  when  Lane  asks  her  about  a little  book 
he  sees  in  her  purse."

Good luck

Jim  

"The written word is a power of such magnitude that only pedants would
try to reduce it to rules.  Or the French."

--F.K.

___________________________________________________________________
You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail.
Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com/getjuno.html
or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866]