Subject: RE: In Conclusion
From: Sean Draine (seandr@microsoft.com)
Date: Sun May 21 2000 - 16:38:14 GMT
Matt:
"I *don't* sense a build-up--I sense the intention of a
build-up. And that's the story's failing. What spoils the story's
hopes is that nobody's actually expecting what in the end indeed does
not happen. We're all supposed to be looking for a certain conclusion,
but we in fact aren't, so when it doesn't materialize, we aren't
appropriately shocked."
Interesting. On my first reading, I had absolutely no expectations of any
violence. There are some subtle hints. But these, I think, are meant
to pull the story together only in retrospect, and not to tip the reader
that gunfire is imminent. If anything, the suicide is meant to contrast
with the gentle play between Seymour and Sybil on the beach, not with the
expectation that Seymour is going to shoot his wife.
It all happens so suddenly! In parsing the following lines:
"he glanced at the girl ... went over to one of the pieces of luggage,
opened it, and ... took out an Ortgies calibre 7.65 automatic. He
released the magazine, looked at it, then reinserted it. He cocked the
piece."
the reader is meant to be confused, perhaps vaguely alarmed. What's this
business with the gun? But there's only a few seconds of text here, and only
a few more to go, so the reader presses on. And then comes:
"Then he went over and sat down on the unoccupied twin bed, looked at the
girl, aimed the pistol, and fired a bullet through his right temple."
and the reader is left wondering what the hell happened.
-Sean
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