Fwd: Fw: Holden's Essay on Afghanistan.


Subject: Fwd: Fw: Holden's Essay on Afghanistan.
From: Will Hochman (hochman@southernct.edu)
Date: Wed Jan 06 1904 - 18:57:25 GMT


This was sent to me and I'm sending it on to our list, will

>From: "John Gilgun" <gilgun@griffon.mwsc.edu>
>To: "Will Hochman" <Hochman@scsu.ctstateu.edu>
>Subject: Fw: Holden's Essay on Afghanistan.
>Date: Sat, 6 Oct 2001 03:35:08 -0500
>X-Priority: 3
>
> From The Catcher in the Kubal by J.D. Muhadeen.
>
>----- Original Message -----
>From: <mailto:gilgun@griffon.mwsc.edu>John Gilgun
>To: <mailto:crewtonia@egroups.com>crewtonia@egroups.com
>Cc: <mailto:ThespiSJWilliams@aoo.com>ThespiSJWilliams@aoo.com
>Sent: Saturday, October 06, 2001 3:28 AM
>Subject: Holden's Essay on Afghanistan.
>
> Afghanistan by Holden Caulfield
>
> Dear Dr. Ratoff:
>
> I know this paper on Afghanistan is late but I am hoping you
>accept it anyway. Actually I am leaving Pencey Prep. I have failed
>all my classes except English and so my time at Pencey has come to
>an end and I am going home to New York tomorrow night to see my
>parents and explain my failure to them. I enjoyed my time at Pencey
>and especially your class in World Geography which has taught me so
>many interesting things about countries of the world like
>Afghanistan which I might have visited some day but which I will
>probably not visit now since we are at war with them and the borders
>are closed and all. But if we hadn't gone to war with Afghanistan
>I'd probably have visited and all the interesting things you taught
>us about it would have come in handy to me, I'm sure.
>
> Afghanistan by Holden Caulfield
>
> Afghanistan is a landlocked country which means it doesn't have
>any opening onto an ocean though in the last century Russia fought
>several wars there because Russia wanted an outlet to the Indian
>Ocean though the Indian Ocean isn't anywhere near Afghanistan so the
>Russians must have had bad maps or something. Anyway the English
>fought wars there, too, to keep Russia from getting an outlet to the
>Indian Ocean and meanwhile the people who lived on the Indian Ocean
>wondered what all the fuss was about because Afghanistan was like a
>thousand miles away from the Indian Ocean and landlocked.
>Afghanistan has never lost a war, not to the Russians or to the
>British, which is pretty amazing when you think about it. It really
>is. Especially since we are at war with them and we have lost a
>couple of wars like Viet Nam which I was too young to experience. I
>think about that sometimes, I mean that I was too young to
>experience Viet Nam. They say I didn't miss a thing but sometimes I
>wonder if that's right. I might have liked Viet Nam and all. But I
>was too young. I wasn't born yet. Viet Nam is very interesting and
>I'm sorry I will never visit it but that's the way it is. We didn't
>cover Viet Nam in your class but I'm sure it is interesting anyway
>and maybe you will cover it in your next class but I won't learn
>anything about it because I have flunked out.
>
> Afghanistan has some of the highest mountains in the world.
>These mountains are located in what is known as the Hindu Tush. Most
>of the Afghans though live in the fertile valleys. Well, actually
>they are not all that fertile. They are actually kind of like
>deserts. Afghanistan is one of the poorest countries in the world
>and a person's wealth is in goats. The more goats you have the
>wealthier you are. Seventeen goats makes you a millionaire there and
>eighteen is out of sight. From goats the people cultivate mohair
>which goes into rugs. Afghanistan is the largest maker of mohair
>rugs in the world. The second thing people produce in Afghanistan is
>drugs, mostly heroin which is made from poppies which grow in the
>fertile valleys there. Imagine, a country of rugs and drugs! I'd
>like to go there. I really would. Sit on one of their rugs and I
>wouldn't do their drugs but it would be very interesting anyway.
>They export drugs to the rest of the world. You could probably buy
>Afghan drugs in Paris or Berlin right at this moment which I
>wouldn't anyway but I'm not there anyhow I'm in my dorm room here at
>Pencey so ha!
>
> Women are not allowed to go out in Afghanistan even to shop at
>Walmart's not that they have a Walmart's in that country. Women have
>to sit home and they don't even have television to watch because
>television is forbidden in that country by the ruling government of
>the Tillabong. Also hamburgers are forbidden. You can't get a
>hamburger in Afghanistan for love nor money. If a woman does get out
>they behead her as they did one woman in a football stadium during
>halftime. Life for women is terrible in Afghanistan and many of them
>are flocking to the border as refugees because it's just awful for
>them and they want to get out of there. Pakistan has closed it
>borders to them though so what can they do? Maybe they can get out
>through Turkistan or Hindustan. Who knows? We are dropping food on
>them though so they won't starve as they flock to the borders to try
>to get out. When I really think about I am actually glad I can't
>visit there because it sounds so terrible although very interesting,
>I'm sure. Thank you. Dr. Ratoff, for teaching us so many interesting
>and important things about that interesting country.
>
> Well, guess that's it. You can flunk me, as everybody else at
>Pencey has done. It doesn't matter since I am leaving anyway. On the
>other hand, maybe you will give me a C which means I won't be
>drafted into the army and sent to Afghanistan. It's funny to think
>about that, being drafted and sent to Afghaniastan, but I'm sure
>that if it happens I'll feel at home there because of all the useful
>and interesting things you taught us about that interesting country.
>Thank you.
>
>
>Holden Caulfield
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-- 
	Will Hochman

Assistant Professor of English Southern Connecticut State University 501 Crescent St, New Haven, CT 06515 203 392 5024

http://www.southernct.edu/~hochman/willz.html



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