boring, boring


Subject: boring, boring
From: Scottie Bowman (rbowman@indigo.ie)
Date: Sat Sep 30 2000 - 03:04:00 GMT


    Why couldn't I have kept my big, ugly, slobbering mouth
    shut? I didn't know when I was well off. I could have left
    Matt to build his transcendent laughter out of all those 'guys,
    gloves, balls, bases and statistics' .... And none of us would
    have been hurt - at least not fatally.

    But, God almighty, as if baseball weren't bad enough, I can
    see we're now facing a great grey tide of golfing memoirs.

    From 1937 (?) when I was hauled by my parents round
    St Andrew's in the wake of the British Open (Bobby Jones?
    Could it have been him? Is that the name?) until the death
    of my former head shrinking partner earlier this year, my life
    has been blighted by fine, much loved human beings turning
    into golf balls.
        
    The excruciating obsessionality of it all ... the meticulous
    reliving of each dreary hole ... the agonising over which fucking
    putter to buy ... those endless hymns to the springiness of
    the grass on lovely fresh mornings ... the mechanics & aerodynamics
    of the swing ... the hohoho joviality of those clubhouse jokes
    ... oh, brother.

    Damned nearly - but not, I suppose, quite - as ossifying as
    an evening in the theatre with Sam.

    Scottie B.

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