Webster's Tenth Edition Collegiate Dictionary defines schizophrenia as: 1: a pyschotic disorder characterized by loss of contact with the environment, by noticeable deterioration in the level of functioning in everyday life, and by disintegration of personality expressed as disorder of feeling, thought (as in hallucinations and delusions), and conduct -- called also dementia praecox. 2: contradictory or antagonistic qualities or attitudes Well, then I'm schizophrenic.