Subject: Re: The Art of Leaving
From: Jim Rovira (jrovira@drew.edu)
Date: Wed Jan 16 2002 - 09:16:55 GMT
To be honest with you, Tim, that whole thing with Suzanne seemed totally
out of left field to me, too. I don't see how you could have seen it
coming. And I prefer your method of handling the list to others'.
Jim
Tim O'Connor wrote:
>
> On Tue, Jan 15, 2002 at 03:40:54PM +0800, Will Hochman wrote:
>
> > I'm no Salinger when it comes to prose. I'm also using this subject
> > header to apologize to Suzanne...I'll try to fly low on the list and
> > listen more than post, will
>
> Suzanne unsubbed right after sending her message, so she hasn't and
> won't see any of the comments you all offer, unless she has subscribed
> from some other address.
>
> I'm really sorry to see her go, because she made some fine contributions,
> but at the same time maybe I'm dense and didn't see a problem coming on.
> I wasn't quite able to grasp what the problem was in advance, though I
> figured out after the fact that she had a conflict (which I never
> noticed) with another subscriber.
>
> I got that point, but I'm not interested in being a gatekeeper here and
> having things moderated. I don't apologize to anyone for setting a tone
> of tolerance on this list. We don't need anyone -- me or anyone else --
> being the list policeman, unless matters reach a point where someone is
> abusing access to the list.
>
> If anyone feels the tone that results is Too Sensitive -- or whatever --
> that's a shame. Yes, there IS great emphasis based on making people feel
> welcome, and I don't apologize for that nor do I wring my hands over it.
> If there are messages that bother readers, they must learn to liberally
> use the DELETE key.
>
> We all have our bad days when we want to leave -- me too! -- but then
> we stay. That's how it goes. As someone said, it's just a mailing
> list.
>
> I regret when we lose contributors, though there's little I can do to
> change a person's mind on that score. The only thing I've asked in the
> past is that when things get nasty between subscribers, they take it
> outside. I've tried to steer people away from personal venom here in
> public, but that's about as far as I go in trying to change behavior.
>
> As for the rest, I have nothing to comment on, except that I'm sorry
> to see a good subscriber leave, and I hope the people who stay behind
> can meander back toward the subject of the list.
>
> And Will, no, you didn't do or say anything wrong.
>
> As Harold Ross might have said, "I don't know what the hell else to
> say," and now I hope everyone else will resume milling about.*
>
> --tim o'connor
>
> *Another New Yorker reference I haven't the energy to explicate just
> now, but I welcome anyone else's suggestion.
>
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