Subject: The Art of Leaving
From: Tim O'Connor (oconnort@nyu.edu)
Date: Tue Jan 15 2002 - 23:20:10 GMT
On Tue, Jan 15, 2002 at 03:40:54PM +0800, Will Hochman wrote:
> I'm no Salinger when it comes to prose. I'm also using this subject
> header to apologize to Suzanne...I'll try to fly low on the list and
> listen more than post, will
Suzanne unsubbed right after sending her message, so she hasn't and
won't see any of the comments you all offer, unless she has subscribed
from some other address.
I'm really sorry to see her go, because she made some fine contributions,
but at the same time maybe I'm dense and didn't see a problem coming on.
I wasn't quite able to grasp what the problem was in advance, though I
figured out after the fact that she had a conflict (which I never
noticed) with another subscriber.
I got that point, but I'm not interested in being a gatekeeper here and
having things moderated. I don't apologize to anyone for setting a tone
of tolerance on this list. We don't need anyone -- me or anyone else --
being the list policeman, unless matters reach a point where someone is
abusing access to the list.
If anyone feels the tone that results is Too Sensitive -- or whatever --
that's a shame. Yes, there IS great emphasis based on making people feel
welcome, and I don't apologize for that nor do I wring my hands over it.
If there are messages that bother readers, they must learn to liberally
use the DELETE key.
We all have our bad days when we want to leave -- me too! -- but then
we stay. That's how it goes. As someone said, it's just a mailing
list.
I regret when we lose contributors, though there's little I can do to
change a person's mind on that score. The only thing I've asked in the
past is that when things get nasty between subscribers, they take it
outside. I've tried to steer people away from personal venom here in
public, but that's about as far as I go in trying to change behavior.
As for the rest, I have nothing to comment on, except that I'm sorry
to see a good subscriber leave, and I hope the people who stay behind
can meander back toward the subject of the list.
And Will, no, you didn't do or say anything wrong.
As Harold Ross might have said, "I don't know what the hell else to
say," and now I hope everyone else will resume milling about.*
--tim o'connor
*Another New Yorker reference I haven't the energy to explicate just
now, but I welcome anyone else's suggestion.
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This archive was generated by hypermail 2b25 : Wed Mar 20 2002 - 09:27:54 GMT