Re: Welcome to Our Little List, Jerry!

a candy colored clown (mws4c@faraday.clas.virginia.edu)
Sun, 06 Jul 1997 14:28:51 -0400 (EDT) 

dear [may i call you "Will"] and others,

	your eloquence has caused me to shed my own alias and transparent
exterior and reveal my true identity. i am addressing this list because i
have not been able to find the proper discussion list on the internet
(being out of the loop for quite some time causes these difficulties), but
i'm really William Fucking Faulkner.  you may remeber me from such works
of literature as "the unvanquished" and "barn burning".  

	allow me to explain.  after winning the nobel prize i decided to
lay low for awhile at the university of virginia, where i had taught for
so many years.  i am living within the memorialized glassy confines of
east range room #13, where edgar allan poe had lived before he departed
for west point (of all places).  i just got my computer hooked up and
after overhearing the recent difficulties with america online, i decided
to open up my own account under the alias of my dear friend myron.  so
please do not question my authenticity.    
	
	you and others are true fans of my work, and after having
overheard some of your discussions regarding my book, i'd like to invite
you to join me and the sartoriuses within the sunny pastures of
yoknopataufa county.

i repeat, i really am william faulkner.  this is no joke.  the stream of
conscious guy.  pay heed to my greatness.  if anyone can direct me to a
faulkner mailing list so i can talk to my dedicated and devoted fans, i
will repay you with a free copy of my unpublished works, tentatively
titled "when you wet the bed first it is warm then it gets cold." (i love
that line.)  

sincerely yours,

willie


On Sun, 6 Jul 1997, WILL HOCHMAN wrote:

> What phony crap!  The real salinger could see a different between worship
> and scholarship, between phony games and real lives loving literature,
> between silly offers to "meet the man in person" and real ideas to meet
> the man on the page.  If chamil were salinger, I'd rather not meet
> him...will