Subject: Re: guide lines
From: Joshua Stott (jstott@bigplanet.net)
Date: Wed Jun 14 2000 - 12:08:35 GMT
thanks for the help scottie i hope to never again be recognized as a
newcomer as i follow your brilliant guidelines.
josh
a bananafish veteran
P.S. Thanks for the laugh. Mind if I blatantly plagiarize your
guidelines for another site? That might be another point you should add
to your list:
7) Feel free to plagiarize any original idea, quote, thought, theory,
or poem posted by a member of this newsgroup. Of course the thought
might actually be brilliant, but taking into account that it simply came
from a brilliant person who practically whimsically throws these about
like an old newspaper (guideline 8: avoid cliches, similes, and
metaphors at all costs), we shall simply think of something better
tomorrow and never think of that tired old brilliance we casually posted
yesterday. Take it for granted that we care not in the least what ideas
you'd like to take for your own, simply remember to never, ever
attribute that idea, quote, thought, etc. to the original author, for we
wouldn't want the masses breaking down our doors, asking us for more
brilliance. If you are in such need of using that idea in some other
place, simply take it and claim ownership for it (rule 9: also avoid
overusing the word "brilliant" and any of its forms).
Scottie Bowman wrote:
>
> I'd forgotten the bit about the scratches on Seymour's
> wrist.
>
> For what it's worth, in the course of forty odd years'
> psychiatric practice I have never known anyone kill
> themselves with slit wrists. The classical Roman method,
> of course, was to retire to a warm bath with the razor
> but it doesn't seem to happen in my part of the woods.
> Nor, come to think of it, has anyone ever cut their throats.
> Plenty of overdoses, gassings, hangings, jumpings off high
> buildings, cars into the river but, strangely enough, only
> two or three shootings - & no knife work at all. (I hasten
> to add, for those of you still hoping for an appointment,
> that rather few of these were on my watch. I've been
> extraordinarily lucky - or perhaps simply too foxy to take
> on high risk cases.)
>
> On the other hand, I *have* looked at an awful lot
> of female wrists with modest scratch lines across them.
> And a number of others (also female) where the digging
> went deeper - but where the intention seems still not
> to have been suicide but that strange, pre-emptively
> controlling punishment which some girls, with true
> self-loathing, inflict on themselves.
>
> My point being that when a man is described as having
> mysteriously scratched wrists I have one of two reactions:
> either the writer does not know too much about suicide
> & has reverted to cliché thinking; or he wants us to see
> the character as somehow 'girlish' & 'hysterical'.
> Not the usual connotation with St Seymour.
>
> ____________________________________
>
> Josh has asked for pointers to help him avoid those gaffes
> which so often identify even the best intentioned newcomer.
> One or two did occur to me:
>
> 1) In your earlier posts, it's advisable to present a vulnerable
> face to the list. Don't be too articulate or fluent. Never correct
> typos & try to throw in some glaring grammatical errors.
> Avoid punctuation. It's quite a good idea to write the whole
> lot in lower case. This will endear you to the older members
> who like to feel indulgent & protective. (Incidentally, don't
> be misled by Dr Hochman's use of the lower case. This is meant
> to make you feel at home & is not an invitation to familiarity.
> He should at all times be addressed & referred to as 'Dr' Hochman.)
>
> 2) Our host, Tim, is an intimate of Salinger's & used to be
> his neighbour. He rather enjoys being badgered for directions
> to the Salinger home in Cornish - where he is a frequent visitor.
> Don't take 'No' for an answer. It's all part of the fun to keep
> at him until he coughs up.
>
> 3) It's VERY important to reprint all previous posts on
> a thread when you are, yourself, replying. In this way we can
> follow the line of the discussion without having constantly
> to refer back to the archives. (Dr Kozusko is particularly
> insisent on this point.)
>
> 4) There's a tendency for some members to wander off topic.
> This is dreadfully bad practice & you will win golden opinions
> with the seniors by reminding the culprits where they are
> going wrong.
>
> 5) You'll discover quite soon this is a pretty sophisticated
> membership. Any whiff of political correctness is bad news.
> There are no taboo words or topics. Jokes about Yids & Niggs
> & Paddies are perfectly OK. Since we are all GOP voters,
> any mockery of Democrats or the liberal establishment
> will be especially well received. (On second thoughts, you
> might be advised to avoid too frequent mention of sports.
> One member, a Canadian, rather fancies himself as another
> Hemingway but we try to indulge this curiously old-fashioned
> interest without comment. You may have met other Canadians.)
>
> 6) Being an all male list, you need feel no inhibition about
> changing-room humour. In fact Tim keeps a secret archive
> of 'dirty' jokes - to which he will be glad to give you access
> by writing to him off-list. Don't be put off by apparently
> female names (eg 'Cecilia'). Like certain Anglican bishops
> we use these as pet names for each other.
>
> These are just a few & I'm sure more will occur to me
> presently. I'll pass them on.
>
> Scottie B.
>
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