haiku error messages (fwd)
WILL HOCHMAN (hochman@uscolo.edu)
Sun, 01 Mar 1998 11:56:34 -0700 (MST)
the real error? not a double haiku among them...but fun for those who
enjoy nexus of poetry and computers which is possibly close to the heart
of the list but apologies to those who feel distracted, will
---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Sat, 28 Feb 1998 16:03:22 -0800
From: Rachel Loden <rloden@concentric.net>
Reply-To: CREWRT-L@lists.missouri.edu
To: crewrt-l@lists.missouri.edu
Cc: jussi@e-traffic.com
Subject: haiku error messages
>>>>Here are the results of a Salon magazine contest to write computer error
>>>>messages in haiku/senryu form: ( http://www.salonmagazine.com/21st/ )
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>W I N N E R S:
>>>>
>>>>Three things are certain:
>>>>Death, taxes, and lost data.
>>>>Guess which has occurred.
>>>>-- David Dixon
>>>>
>>>>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>>>>
>>>>Everything is gone;
>>>>Your life's work has been destroyed.
>>>>Squeeze trigger (yes/no)?
>>>>-- David Carlson
>>>>
>>>>H O N O R A B L E M E N T I O N S:
>>>>
>>>>I'm sorry, there's -- um --
>>>>insufficient -- what's-it-called?
>>>>The term eludes me ...
>>>>-- Owen Mathews
>>>>
>>>>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>>>>
>>>>Windows NT crashed.
>>>>I am the Blue Screen of Death.
>>>>No one hears your screams.
>>>>-- Peter Rothman
>>>>
>>>>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>>>>
>>>>Seeing my great fault
>>>>Through darkening blue windows
>>>>I begin again
>>>>-- Chris Walsh
>>>>
>>>>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>>>>
>>>>The code was willing,
>>>>It considered your request,
>>>>But the chips were weak.
>>>>-- Barry L. Brumitt
>>>>
>>>>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>>>>
>>>>Printer not ready.
>>>>Could be a fatal error.
>>>>Have a pen handy?
>>>>-- Pat Davis
>>>>
>>>>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>>>>
>>>>A file that big?
>>>>It might be very useful.
>>>>But now it is gone.
>>>>-- David J. Liszewski
>>>>
>>>>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>>>>
>>>>Errors have occurred.
>>>>We won't tell you where or why.
>>>>Lazy programmers.
>>>>-- Charlie Gibbs
>>>>
>>>>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>>>>
>>>>Server's poor response
>>>>Not quick enough for browser.
>>>>Timed out, plum blossom.
>>>>-- Rik Jespersen
>>>>
>>>>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>>>>Chaos reigns within.
>>>>Reflect, repent, and reboot.
>>>>Order shall return.
>>>>-- Suzie Wagner
>>>>
>>>>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>>>>
>>>>Login incorrect.
>>>>Only perfect spellers may
>>>>enter this system.
>>>>-- Jason Axley
>>>>
>>>>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>>>>
>>>>This site has been moved.
>>>>We'd tell you where, but then we'd
>>>>have to delete you.
>>>>-- Charles Matthews
>>>>
>>>>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>>>>
>>>>wind catches lily
>>>>scatt'ring petals to the wind:
>>>>segmentation fault
>>>>-- Nick Sweeney
>>>>
>>>>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>>>>
>>>>ABORTED effort:
>>>>Close all that you have.
>>>>You ask way too much.
>>>>-- Mike Hagler
>>>>
>>>>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>>>>
>>>>First snow, then silence.
>>>>This thousand dollar screen dies
>>>>so beautifully.
>>>>-- Simon Firth
>>>>
>>>>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>>>>
>>>>With searching comes loss
>>>>and the presence of absence:
>>>>"My Novel" not found.
>>>>-- Howard Korder
>>>>
>>>>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>>>>
>>>>The Tao that is seen
>>>>Is not the true Tao, until
>>>>You bring fresh toner.
>>>>-- Bill Torcaso
>>>>
>>>>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>>>>
>>>>The Web site you seek
>>>>cannot be located but
>>>>endless others exist
>>>>-- Joy Rothke
>>>>
>>>>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>>>>
>>>>Stay the patient course
>>>>Of little worth is your ire
>>>>The network is down
>>>>-- David Ansel
>>>>
>>>>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>>>>
>>>>A crash reduces
>>>>your expensive computer
>>>>to a simple stone.
>>>>-- James Lopez
>>>>
>>>>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>>>>
>>>>There is a chasm
>>>>of carbon and silicon
>>>>the software can't bridge
>>>>-- Rahul Sonnad
>>>>
>>>>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>>>>
>>>>Yesterday it worked
>>>>Today it is not working
>>>>Windows is like that
>>>>-- Margaret Segall
>>>>
>>>>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>>>>
>>>>To have no errors
>>>>Would be life without meaning
>>>>No struggle, no joy
>>>>-- Brian M. Porter
>>>>
>>>>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>>>>
>>>>You step in the stream,
>>>>but the water has moved on.
>>>>This page is not here.
>>>>-- Cass Whittington
>>>>
>>>>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>>>>
>>>>No keyboard present
>>>>Hit F1 to continue
>>>>Zen engineering?
>>>>-- Jim Griffith
>>>>
>>>>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>>>>
>>>>Hal, open the file
>>>>Hal, open the damn file, Hal
>>>>open the, please Hal
>>>>-- Jennifer Jo Lane
>>>>
>>>>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>>>>
>>>>Out of memory.
>>>>We wish to hold the whole sky,
>>>>But we never will.
>>>>-- Francis Heaney
>>>>
>>>>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>>>>
>>>>Having been erased,
>>>>The document you're seeking
>>>>Must now be retyped.
>>>>-- Judy Birmingham
>>>>
>>>>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>>>>
>>>>The ten thousand things
>>>>How long do any persist?
>>>>Netscape, too, has gone.
>>>>-- Jason Willoughby
>>>>
>>>>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>>>>
>>>>Rather than a beep
>>>>Or a rude error message,
>>>>These words: "File not found."
>>>>-- Len Dvorkin
>>>>
>>>>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>>>>
>>>>Serious error.
>>>>All shortcuts have disappeared.
>>>>Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
>>>>-- Ian Hughes
>>
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