Re: Writer's on this List

TheSecretGoldfish (lime6@rocketmail.com)
Tue, 24 Mar 1998 06:49:51 -0800 (PST) 

---Colbourne <colby@online.net.pg> wrote:
>
> I apologise because my posts always seem Cumbersome
and Out of Place and
> I always seem to be Asking for Help and being
unforgiveably Young and
> Naive. Nonetheless...
> 
> I've been looking for some entry point to
discussions of Writing and it
> seems I have found it.
> I'm only 17 and for me, words are the best way to
approximate any vision
> of reality. I'm in Year 12 now, and my parents
won't let me out of it.
> Obviously, I love Learning, but it's the Education
System that burns me.
> 
> As I can see no vocation in any way similar to that
of Professional
> Child, as I so clearly am, and since becoming a
Politician would place
> me in that realm of Filthy Childishness that I try
so hard to avoid, I
> must suppose that I am a writer. Somewhere along
the line of
> self-torment that is me I just said 'I'm writing.'
If I could be LIKE
> anybody, without actually BEING anybody, I would
like to be a something
> balanced precariously between Salinger and Milne
> (Winnie-the-Pooh-Style). I don't want to be famous
or anything, all I
> want is to say as best I can, as concise as I can,
exactly what I am
> trying to say. I want to say TRUE things, I favour
Honesty not because
> of any ethical beliefs, but because it's Just So
Damn Practical and it
> tastes better and is easier to compress into few
words. I only write
> short stories, although this is probably due to my
Inherent Youthful
> Impatience. When I say short, I mean literally
little longer than 1000
> words. I suppose my English Work is good because
all of my English
> teachers have at one stage or another taken me
Aside, for the English
> Teacher Taking Student Aside, aside that is only
occassioned in response
> to extremely bad behaviour or English Potential.
The problem is, I've
> never been able to evaluate myself at anything I
do. At Rugby, I would
> sprint down the field Forrest Gump Style and
whenever my momentum was
> stopped I would inevitably ask 'Did I do good?' I
require constant
> verbal acknowledgement and encouragement because
I'm unable to appraise
> myself. It's the same for writing. A few days ago I
considered posting
> 'Can a Writer live off the money he makes from
Being a Writer?' before I
> remembered Vladimir's comment, something to the
extent of
> 
>  'Of course I was a writer' [Gesturing to rags]
> 
> So I honestly don't know what to do with myself.
I'd like to join some
> sort of Writing Thing that would tell me What I'm
Doing Wrong without
> Wrecking My Style, presuming I have some degree of
style. I'd like to be
> taken under the collective proverbial wings but I
don't want to be on 60
> minutes some day claiming that The Story About the
Boy Who Feared He
> Didn't Exist (that's not the title) was in actual
fact written by little
> old me and that I wanted a good deal of the movie
royalties. My stories
> aren't really like that. I think they might be crap
though. Anyway, it
> appears as though after Year 12, Circumstance has
placed me
> Geographically in a position in which it is
impossible to get anything
> but a sort of secretarial job at the High Commision
in this erm country.
> That's only for 1 year though. I suppose during
that time I will write
> some short stories and I will make a feeble attempt
to get them
> published or I will send them to an old English
teacher and he will tell
> me not to bother, and I will become a Phony
Baloney. The thing about
> Phonies is that they just don't know they are.
Sometimes I see things,
> they really annoy me, sort of like the little
details Holden sees, and
> if I write about them I Feel Better. I live for
anecdotes. The thing is,
> the people I see who don't see things don't know
that they can't see,
> and they get to walk around blind. Often I'd like
to be like that. I
> don't like this kind of awareness that I have, and
yet it is a sort of
> naivety as well. Sometimes I'd rather be Blind and
Unaware. That's all I
> have to say right now. If there are any apparent
parallels between what
> I write and Proper Writers, they are just the
Influences that the Writer
> takes before he Writes His Own Stuff.
> 
> Isn't there some sort of Test that will tell me I'm
a writer and should
> die if I don't, or some single criteria or something?
> 
> At the moment I'm studying Winnie the Pooh, because
of that Zen Pooh
> Book I know of but haven't read and can't remember.
I'm actually reading
> 'The House at Pooh Corner' and it's One of the Best
Things I've Read. I
> think that maybe I'm understanding Zen now, it does
sort of have it's
> own logic.
> 
> Milne uses only 100 different words or so but it's
so clear what he's
> saying. I should be happy if I could write like that.
> 
> "Rabbit's clever," said Pooh thoughtfully.
> "Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit's clever."
> "And he has Brain."
> "Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit has Brain."
> There was a long silence.
> "I suppose," said Pooh, "that that's why he never
understands anything."
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Seeking to Shed his Brain While Maintaining Some
Degree of Conventional
> Career Direction,
> 
> Godot.
> 
> 
jesus christ.
did i write this?
i could've.
paul.
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