Subject: The Curse of the Billy Goat, or If a Body Lose a Body...
From: Cecilia Baader (cbaader@cubsmvp.com)
Date: Mon May 07 2001 - 13:14:01 GMT
He was grinning at me and I wished he'd stop. "No, ma'am,
we haven't thrown anybody out of the ballpark today. Why?"
"Well, you see, I've lost someone," I said. I was sure it
was the curse of the Billy Goat, but I didn't say that out
loud. He was already looking at me as if I was nuts.
Immediately his expression changed and he sat up. He had the
bearing of a former Marine and the sort of face that you trusted.
I watched him pull out a pen and a notepad. "Can you describe
your missing person? About how old is he?"
"Umm," I said, shifting my weight from one foot to the other.
"About fifty."
He dropped his pen and stifled a grin. "Ma'am. Adults
don't usually get lost in a ballpark. What makes you think he's
in some kind of trouble? Is he the troublemaking kind?"
"No." Of course he wasn't. But we'd separated on our way to our
seats so that he could get beer and already it was the third
inning and he hadn't shown up. I knew I was in the right spot--
I'd even shown my ticket to the usher, who assured me I was
in the right place.
"Now," the Security guy continued. His grin was now about as wide
as China. "Don't get angry at me for asking this sort of question,
but could he possibly be ... intoxicated?"
I shook my head. "No, definitely not."
He shot me a skeptical look. "Now, don't get angry with me for
this one either, but I have to ask. Is he retarded?"
I couldn't help it. I began to laugh. "No, he's definitely not
retarded."
"He's not a troublemaker, he's not intoxicated, he's not retarded.
What makes you think he could have been thrown out of the ballpark?"
I shot him a superior look. "He's wearing a Blue Jays jersey."
He sat up again and grabbed his pen. "Oh. Well. I understand.
I can put out a call if you like. I'm pretty sure we've only thrown
a couple guys out of the Bleachers. But you never know. You say
he's fifty-ish and wearing a Blue Jays jersey?" He looked at me
again. "Are you sure he's not retarded?"
"No." I smiled. "He's just Canadian."
Now, it would be nice to stop my story right here, but honesty
compels me to admit that it was I who was lost, not Paul. For
I had been sitting in the seat for Saturday's game, which would
have been fine if it was Saturday. But it was not. It was Friday.
When I finally figured out my mistake and found the correct seat,
our dear Paul Kennedy was kindly forgiving. I was, am, grateful.
So we settled in to watch the Cubs beat Los Angeles and I booed with
Paul at former Blue Jay Sean Green and Paul cheered with me for
Sammy and the boys.
Have I mentioned that the Cubs are in first place? I think it's
all about Paul. He's lifted the curse of the Billy Goat. This
year we're going all the way.
Thanks, PK.
as ever,
Cecilia.
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