Subject: RE: My So Called Life & Salinger
From: Angela Faye Oon (ange@pacific.net.sg)
Date: Fri May 09 1997 - 12:57:32 GMT
>>self-identity. Until you're secure with who you are you're only going to
>>see it as an act where you lose something rather than share/gain something.
Having been away for two weeks I don't know how this thread came about, or
who wrote the above; but I think the above statement has a lot of truth in
it. To share a bit of personal history, I did meander along the sexual path
as dictated by my peers until I read "I'm OK - You're OK" by Thomas
A.Harris. Actually, it was something Harris quoted from the Rev Forrest A.
Aldrich that hit me:-
Many young people take the attitude that if two people agree to sex and both
agree that it is not to be a lasting involvement, and no one is hurt, then
what harm is it? The hurt is that something of value - sex - has been
devalued. It has been casual and not worth all that could be derived from
it. The point is to get through the experience safely. The sin of premarital
sex is not that something was given, but that not enough was given.
Once I realised that sex was such a _good_ thing, as opposed to being such a
_bad_ thing, and that it was so good that it shouldn't be used casually, my
whole attitude towards relationships and sex changed.
Where Holden was concerned, I don't think that he refused sex because that
would destroy his innocence. I think he rejected sex _because_ he was
innocent. And somehow, although it might be a stereotypical image, we would
trust more easily an adolescent virgin struggling with the realities of
adulthood than an adolescent casanova adept at chatting up any attractive
girl he saw...
Angela.
____________________________________________________________
Angela Faye Oon <ange@pacific.net.sg>
<cynicd@hotmail.com>
<ange@iname.com>
Fax : (065) 469-1769
" The fishing net serves to catch fish. Let us take the fish and forget the
net."
- Chuang-Tzu (c.369 - c.286)
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