Re: First Catcher memories?
Malcolm Lawrence (malcolm@wolfenet.com)
Tue, 25 Nov 1997 13:33:42 -0800
Bethany M. Edstrom wrote:
> --- "Peggy F. Jean-Louis" wrote:
> The first time I read the letter that Buddy wrote to Zooey, I remember
> feeling sad...because out of all the people I've ever loved, none of them
> could ever write to me so beautifully. It's the kind of letter everyone
> dreams of getting and probably never will. That's what makes it so
> special.
> --- Bethany wrote ---
> yes, exactly. And especially the idea that someone in a person's own family,
> when families are often so hopelessly tied up in the trivial, could understand
> that person so well and write a letter so full of EVERYTHING--compassion,
> apology, shared memory, instruction, closeness and distance at the same time.
> Like Franny and Zooey I also grew up in a family full of much-older siblings,
> but none of them could or would ever write a letter like that. What pulls me
> into that scene is the fact that the very relationships that annoy Zooey so
> much are the ones I can't help but envy...
I'm not sure if being a "bananafish" precludes one being on the "psychic friends
network," (or maybe it's just because I'm an Aquarius with a Pisces moon) but I
have always had this horrible affliction of thinking about everybody all the time,
sometimes it even leads to insomnia. It goes on beyond sensitivity, sometimes I
even get superstitious that if I stop thinking about someone that they'll "feel" it
and suddenly become cold towards me.
The intricacy of the ways the Glass kids talk to each other about the fabric of
each other's emotions in their family and the underlying dynamics involved as a
result of, made perfect sense to me when I first read the stories as a teenager
because emotionally that's how my mind worked as well. A surfeit of empathy I'd
guess you'd call it.
The best thing about it is that once your friends get to know you you keep a pretty
honored place in their estimation because they know how you can see the motivations
of the heart (or lack thereof) all too well. Being able to see more glass.
The worst thing about it is it's probably the worst affliction you could ever have
when trying to get a job in the real world, let alone keep an intimate relationship
going. Your employer always thinks you're "daydreaming" and your coworkers think
there's something wrong with you because you always place others before yourself,
and your lover feels neglected and ignored because they're not the only person in
the world that you're concerned with.
I used to write very beautiful letters when I was growing up, which was why I
gravitated towards that letter so easily. Even though no one in my family wanted to
sacrifice the trivialities of the day in order to be able to reach that type of
depth, my mind kept exploring those depths and that type of beauty, and that was
when the Glass family stopped being merely characters to me and started being
confidants. They knew the same things that I did. They appreciated, valued and
enjoyed the same things that I did, while all around me all I could find were
people more concerned with who was dating whom and what happened on Dynasty last
night.
That letter influenced me so much (as well as Alice Walker's epistolary The Color
Purple) that the manifestation became an epistolary of my own, the technique I
decided to use for my second novel. Ostensibly because, as Bethany points out, it
has so much compassion, apology, shared memory, instruction, closeness and distance
at the same time, and in this hectic world a personal letter to someone is pretty
much the only place you're going to be able to find something that rich and deep
anymore.
I think one of the absolute phoniest things in the world is people who can't stand
length. Talk about our attention spans being shredded away to nothing. I'd
personally rather read one ten page letter that can give my mind something to chew
on for days, weeks, months, years, than read 500 two line emails that ultimately
simply haven't got the space to be spiritually nourishing or enlightening in any
way shape or form. And since I couldn't find anyone amongst my family or friends
who was willing to exchange such beautiful letters with me, I decided to just write
my own and create characters who would write them back to me.
Malcs