Re: Please stop

AntiUtopia@aol.com
Thu, 04 Nov 1999 07:06:58 -0500 (EST) 

Yeah, Tim, I tried to send something along these lines last night but my 
computer froze up...then I decided I was too tired to rewrite it.  So here I 
go:

1. Dear Tim -- I see your point now :).

2. Dear List -- my apologies to those of you getting your mail today for the 
first time since late yesterday afternoon.  I know you have about 40 
essentially one line messages.  I accept my share of reponsibility for that 
and am sorry.*

3. Dear Andrew, Dick, Ed, Lauren, and Joe.  Thanks for the most fun I've had 
on a listserve in awhile.

4. Dear Other Joe -- List rules?  About content?

5. A True Story with Near Mythological Status About Telling Blonde Jokes -- 

I was in the security office of a printing plant one day to do some 
electrical work, and the security guard there was a blonde female.  I cracked 
a one-line blonde joke.  She said, "Is that the best you can do," and told me 
about 15 one-line blonde jokes in about 30 seconds.  

Remember that bar scene in "Roxanne"?  

6. One more blonde joke:

A blonde walks into an appliance store and asks the salesman, "How much is 
that television set?"  The salesman replies, "I'm sorry, ma'am, we don't 
serve blondes.  Strict policy."  The woman storms out of the store in a huff 
resolved to get her way.

The next day she returns, disguised in frumpy clothes and a shawl.  She asks 
the salesman, "How much is that television?"  The salesman replies, "I'm 
sorry, ma'am, I told you yesterday, we don't serve blondes here."  The woman 
storms out again, but is still determined to buy a television from that store.

So the next day she cuts her hair short and dies it jet black.  She paints 
her nails black and puts on completely different colors of make-up, then 
picks up a large pair of dark glasses.  She visits an actress friend who 
coaches her on speaking and walking differently, then returns to the store, 
walks up to the salesperson, and asks, "How much is that television?"  The 
salesperson stops and looks at her very closely, then replies, "Ma'am, for 
the third time in a row, we don't serve blondes here."  

The woman is shocked.  She has to ask, "How did you know?" 

The clerk replied, "Because that's a microwave."

7. Lawyer jokes, anyone?   

Jim

*kinda