Re: Burning Pain

Face Inthecrowd (facethecrowd@hotmail.com)
Fri, 05 Nov 1999 19:23:12 -0500 (EST) 

Scottie, believe me.  If I were interfering with a happy family or if I were 
barging in on an exaggeratedly unhappy family, I would feel probably feel 
guilty.  Sure, there's a chance that she's lying to me about how bad her 
situation is.  Maybe her present job as a social intervener for abused 
families really isn't as shitty as it seems when she conferences with 
grandparents who smile at their little grandkids during a family meeting, 
suggesting that it's alright, she's just an intruder on their lives and once 
she leaves they can go on with their 'normal' lives again.  But I don't 
think so.  Her husband doesn't beat her or abuse her child, but he's an 
esentially dead, selfish prick.  Her job sucks, she feels like an enabler 
(someone who allows abusive situations to continue) because she is enforced 
by law to ignore situations that aren't obviously detrimental.  She wants to 
move in with me when I move out there and contract social services for the 
government, and I'm encouraging her to do that because her present situation 
and all of its bullshit complications implied is very much harmful to her.  
Whether I may harm her more is left to be said, but she and her child have 
to leave what they're currently entrenched in.

And Lauren, I am also a child of divorced parents.  My fatehr tells me 
stories about how he saw my alcoholic mother with a strange man at the movie 
theatre a month after they divorced.  This must have been hard for him.  
What hurt us was the fact that my father hated my mother and mother hated my 
father.  They couldn't speak with each other.  When I was in Grade seven and 
eight, I was sure that my father was goingto kill us kids because of the 
alimony payments.  Everyone gets a little fucked up from a divorce.  Dozens 
of eggs get cracked.  It fucking sucks, in other words.  But the party 
responsible has to ensure that these damages are kept to a minimum.  I have 
plans and so does she.  She's an independent person but being loved helps 
her and it does me, too.  I'm sorry I brought this up.

>     How about the little three year old girl & what the hard,
>     unavoidable statistics say about the children of divorced
>     parents?  What about her burning pain?
>
>     Scottie B.
>
>

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