Re: temper, Lucy, temper...

The Laughing Man (the_laughing_man@hotmail.com)
Tue, 30 Nov 1999 13:23:15 +0000 (GMT)

I wrote (obviously):

>>  “Salinger is a bad writer”,

What in Earth’s name happened to my nice little characters?
I certainly hope that not all of you get these unreadable characters from my 
posts (they are hard to read as it is)!

Jessica wrote:
>Since I don't know you. I doubt you could actually offend me. There has to 
>be
>a certain degree of familiarity for me to worry about your thoughts of me.

I don’t think that at all. I definitely don’t know you, and I now worry 
about you thinking _I_ actually stood for such a stand-alone one-eyed view 
used in my example. My point was illustrating what blunt instruments of 
truth such general statements are without any context given, especially 
dealing with complex, emotional subjects. I hope that was clear.

Many things offend us without us personally knowing the “sender”. It has 
very much to do with our relation to the subject-matter. A theater play 
portraying (in the eyes of the receiver) an awful character (a Nazi, a child 
abuser etc) can offend you. I once watched a play with the main character 
being an unsympathetic wife-beater. The psychological pressure in one scene 
was so strong, that a woman in the audience totally forgot where she was: 
she stood up in her seat and shouted “ASSHOLE!” to the man. (It was a 
fantastic moment, she was so into her feelings it took several seconds 
before she understood what she had done and became aware of us, the rest of 
the audience. But it had been such a genuine feeling, shared by the rest of 
us, she only smiled a worthy, very tired smile, and sat down.)

The above example is perhaps a bit specific. But also in ordinary life, what 
people do or say or do in the street as well as in the newspaper, effect us. 
And thus: could offend us. To a certain extent we can filter that feeling. 
Categorizing helps. “Aha,” we say, “it came from a 
Nazi/Communist/Republican/Fascist/Aristocrat/Worker/Man/Woman. That explains 
it.” But sometimes that is not enough. Sometimes you get really affected by 
what a first time visitor says about the placement of your sofa in the 
living room, even though you don’t know the visitor and have no idea what 
you think about her sofa-placement.

Or is it just me?

>I joined this list, not only to discuss the man, but also to commiserate 
>with
>others that appreciate him. I'm enthralled in knowing what other JD lovers
>have to say about homosexuality and the like.


Excellent! Then you’re at the right place.

/TLM

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