hiatus

Jessica Lynn Becker (beckerj@uwec.edu)
Wed, 29 Oct 1997 14:45:26 -0500

after a long hiatus spent drowning in the world of academia, i finally
mustered up enough courage to check my e-mail.  while my laundry whirls
around downstairs i have caught up with 26 messages.  ouch.  my brain is
fried, so let me try to think what topic i can write about....

ah.  the alanis/phony thing.  when i first got to college i met this girl
named dawn.  she was nice enough, if not a little irritating.  (don't ever
go shopping with someone who refers to things as being "reasonably priced"
more than 25 times in one hour)  we became friends, but i noticed that she
was rather insecure and extremely clingly.  like the kind of person who
would latch onto your ankle and have you drag them around for hours if it
meant that you would stay with them for a few extra minutes....

anyway, once dawn began to seriously irritate me i took a lame way out.  i
told her to fuck off.  then i saw what a phony she was.  after losing one
of her only friends, she began trying to make others.  i had taken her to a
house party once.  i was ready to leave, but she begged me to stay a little
longer (or more accurately, for a few more trips to the keg).  half an hour
after i had wanted to leave the cops showed up.  being underage, i of
course ran FAST and waited at the end of the block for her to catch up.  we
walked home, and all the way she cried about how i almost got her arrested.
i pointed out to her that if we had left when i wanted to, we wouldn't have
nearly been busted.  point number two was that we got away.  wasn't that
something to be proud of?  (or at least ease your worries with?)

so for the next few days whenever she was with me she'd tell people the
amazing story of our escape from the cops.  behind my back she told people
never to party with me because if we had left earlier like she supposedly
begged me to, we wouldn't have gotten busted.  i realized what a phony she
was and proceeded to drop her.  i can't stand that sort of backstabbing
pettiness.

every now and then she comes into my room and asks if i'm still mad at her.
i say yes, leave me alone.  then she goes to emily's room and talks about
how she's so glad she decided to end our friendship, i was really a bad
influence on her.  (so maybe i was, but SHE was the one trying to be
exactly like me.  SWF rings a bell)

i know that if holden was a *real* person, dawn would be exactly the kind
of person he would hate.  she changes her image to fit her goals.  does
that make sense?  like for instance, she approached my friend angie and
started bragging about how she's been to SO MANY parties and she's drunk
every weekend and how her alcohol tolerance is through the roof.  (all
false)  angie says to her, "well, good for you.  personally, i can't stand
people who party all the time."  dawn changes her story and tells angie
that she actually doesn't party that much and that people who get drunk all
the time piss her off.  PHONY.  or maybe it's just me that would see her
this way.  all i can say is that someone who is willing to play with other
people like that is definately not worth my time or energy.

s'cuse me for taking so much space.  i guess i haven't written in so long
that i can't shut up.

jessica :)