after a long hiatus spent drowning in the world of academia, i finally mustered up enough courage to check my e-mail. while my laundry whirls around downstairs i have caught up with 26 messages. ouch. my brain is fried, so let me try to think what topic i can write about.... ah. the alanis/phony thing. when i first got to college i met this girl named dawn. she was nice enough, if not a little irritating. (don't ever go shopping with someone who refers to things as being "reasonably priced" more than 25 times in one hour) we became friends, but i noticed that she was rather insecure and extremely clingly. like the kind of person who would latch onto your ankle and have you drag them around for hours if it meant that you would stay with them for a few extra minutes.... anyway, once dawn began to seriously irritate me i took a lame way out. i told her to fuck off. then i saw what a phony she was. after losing one of her only friends, she began trying to make others. i had taken her to a house party once. i was ready to leave, but she begged me to stay a little longer (or more accurately, for a few more trips to the keg). half an hour after i had wanted to leave the cops showed up. being underage, i of course ran FAST and waited at the end of the block for her to catch up. we walked home, and all the way she cried about how i almost got her arrested. i pointed out to her that if we had left when i wanted to, we wouldn't have nearly been busted. point number two was that we got away. wasn't that something to be proud of? (or at least ease your worries with?) so for the next few days whenever she was with me she'd tell people the amazing story of our escape from the cops. behind my back she told people never to party with me because if we had left earlier like she supposedly begged me to, we wouldn't have gotten busted. i realized what a phony she was and proceeded to drop her. i can't stand that sort of backstabbing pettiness. every now and then she comes into my room and asks if i'm still mad at her. i say yes, leave me alone. then she goes to emily's room and talks about how she's so glad she decided to end our friendship, i was really a bad influence on her. (so maybe i was, but SHE was the one trying to be exactly like me. SWF rings a bell) i know that if holden was a *real* person, dawn would be exactly the kind of person he would hate. she changes her image to fit her goals. does that make sense? like for instance, she approached my friend angie and started bragging about how she's been to SO MANY parties and she's drunk every weekend and how her alcohol tolerance is through the roof. (all false) angie says to her, "well, good for you. personally, i can't stand people who party all the time." dawn changes her story and tells angie that she actually doesn't party that much and that people who get drunk all the time piss her off. PHONY. or maybe it's just me that would see her this way. all i can say is that someone who is willing to play with other people like that is definately not worth my time or energy. s'cuse me for taking so much space. i guess i haven't written in so long that i can't shut up. jessica :)