Subject: Re: I'm telling mom! and Sean ...
From: Steve Brown (ganesha@rochester.rr.com)
Date: Thu Aug 09 2001 - 09:51:06 GMT
>
> >The first is obviously bad, the second is almost never if you do it for
the
> >right reasons, like love or friendship
> >or fun or excitement. Not out of guilt or fear of being left alone. (I
mean,
> >you KNEW that, right? Pete?)
>
> Yes, I know that having sex for those reasons can be good. If you'll
> kindly, though, respect the adherence I have to my Catholic faith...I'm
not
> as fervent as many others I've met, but there are some points I tend to
> always follow.
> have yet to realize the true goodness and fulfilling aspects of it that
> everyone keeps talking about. As someone who's experienced it, you
> should know that you can't just TELL someone how great sex is, no
> matter how well your syntax.
Pete; if you realize that you can't understand the good in something if you
haven't been involved in it, why be so concerned with wether its fulfilling
or not, let other people have their experience, you have yours when your
ready.
>
> Haha zaz. It's hard in college to get someone to speak intelligently
> about the subject. Again, I don't sneer nor am I disgusted by those who
> do it a lot (no pun intended), but I do question their motives.
Why, what right do YOU or anyone else for that matter have to "question
their motives." i get the feeling that you spend a lot of effort worrying
about what other people do, and not enough time enjoying them being around.
you can learn from people you don't understand, and you can listen to
somebody without judging them, which is exactly what you do when you
"question their motives" question first why their motives are important to
you.
> It's far, far less comforting for this advice to come from someone who is
> my age. Thanks zaz.
>
> I suppose my point is that if I wanted to have sex I would have trouble
> making a decision as to why or with whom. Scenario I don't want: have
> sex, ejaculating prematurally, feel gross and thoughtless the sex day,
> never speak to other person comfortably again. Perhaps I'm a
> pessimist, but perhaps also I just want to be sure that I'm doing it for
> the right reasons with the right person.
Sex should (in my opinion, and that's for sure not gospel) arise from love,
or as part of a healthy and fun way to use the human bodies best parts in
the right context. I think drunk hooking up is a bad idea, for many
reasons, probably the two biggest being that one, its not an intelligent
decision, because you can't think very well, and two, its really not all
that fun, compared to when you are fully aware. sex is not about worrying
its going to be wrong, or that you aren't going to be good at it, it's about
being there. Sex is one of the few things (again in my opinion) where it's
very important to be in the present moment of the experience. sure lots of
tensions are involved the first few time, and all kinds of outside things
going on that affect your behavior going into the experience, but sex is
about getting beyond that. you have no context for talking about or
thinking about "making love" because you don't own the experience, you only
own your understanding of something you haven't done. There's nothing wrong
with that, but it seems to me you should be more tolerant until you
understand what's really inside the experience.
-Steve
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