too many rodeos

    'My name is Scottie Bowman & I am an addict.
    Mine is the same old story that so many of you will
    recognise - all too painfully, I suspect. No, what am
    I saying? Not the same old story, rather the same old hell.
    The same old hellish urgency for that first fix of the day.
    The nerves screaming in unison with the modem as it
    goes through its endless ritual of bells & whistles.
    The furtive visits to the monitor between patients.
    The head-throbbing search for a mention of oneself.
    The frantic hunt for congenial names & the deadly
    let-down when all that can be recognised is the same
    old queue of Salinger Drears. The positively final
    - honest, just this last one - peek of the day.
    The last peek that still brings nothing, nothing interesting,
    nothing funny, just more oh-my-God-so-earnest discussion
    of whether Buddy was speaking for Seymour or actually
    was Seymour or maybe Phoebe or, yet again, Bessie
    in her stained Rilke dressing gown ....

    'And all the while, day after day, the real work lies there
    in its unopened files, silent, neglected, reproachfully waiting ....

    'Well, friends, the life of the addict is milestoned with slips.
    What can one do but try again, pour the stuff down the sink,
    & place one's faith, as ever, in the Higher Power ....

      Scottie B.

-
* Unsubscribing? Mail majordomo@roughdraft.org with the message
* UNSUBSCRIBE BANANAFISH
Received on Sun Mar 23 05:11:20 2003