Jim, I appreciate your concern and what you say is correct. My friends tell me I'm crazy, they say I'm going to wind up a Poor Tom of Bedlam and her daughter's going to grow wrong, and she's inevitably going to get hurt but she fuels herself on her own pain, this I'm sure of, and I'm only content when we're both pleased and safe. She tries to get through to me, she tries to warm me up, but when her voice quivers I can't deny her pain. And so when I try to help, she feels better, and I am loaded down with feelings of loathing for her husband, desperate confusion about her daughter, and wrist slitting love for her because- well, to place a pinpoint on a barn door, she speaks to me and I speak to her. We understand each other. If this means I'm going to end up as one of those guys that walks around the city barking their past lovers names and spitting everywhere, so be it. For the time being, I am immaturely attracted to these flights of passion. I have yet to see her, so this desire is mounting and my own reason is decreasing in place of the feeling. I couldn't leave her now anyway. If she left me I'd be crushed. About names and legal stuff, I don't worry about it. Her husband works in a pulp mill and reads Stephen King type books. If anyone knows the guy, that's fine, he's better off to know that she's found another lover. He already knows she's leaving him but he's trying to win her back after four years of dry toast with her. He's an asshole and a liar. He tells her that she won't get alimony, that he'll get so depressed he'll kill himself, that he'll take her to court to make her so broke she can't fight anymore. He's lucky to never see me, the Dmitri of the Karmazovs, face to face. I am torn between staying or leaving. I could never leave her, but I can leave here. She lives miles away but I am tempted to leave here any day now. When I do leave, there is no turning back. I thank you for your kind and wise advice, Jim. I'm afraid that I can't leave her though. Maybe I've been sucked into Duessa's motives, but I do need her more than she needs me. I just have to get away from myself before I can do that. Japhe ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com