Re: Burning Pain
Face Inthecrowd (facethecrowd@hotmail.com)
Fri, 05 Nov 1999 17:23:05 -0500 (EST)
Thank you, Stephen, for replying. She's committed to leave her husband and
I'm ready to commit to her. Her situation is far more complicated than
mine, so it would make sense to let her solve her problems before bringing a
new set to her, but I can't do that. It's already too late. She leaves her
husband in a month and in the meantime we sneak phone calls and emails to
each other expressing our utter discontent with everything but us and her
daughter. We have grown to need each other in a way, in a period of two
weeks. So I can't leave her, which is like waiting for her to divorce or
separate. I need the strength to withstand how she feels about our
situation. I'm not sure I can supply her with enough strength. I tell her
kind things and my tone of voice emphasizes how much I love her, but the
distance between us (physically and temporally) is excruciating. When I
feel she thinks that I'm not what is best for her, I ache inside. I really
ache inside. Thanks again for your reply but I can't take that advice.
>From: "Stephen Peters" <speters@columbus.rr.com>
>To: facethecrowd@hotmail.com
>Subject: Re: Burning Pain
>Date: Fri, 05 Nov 1999 17:14:12 -0500
>
>It breaks my hear to hear that you are going through this dilemma, which
>probably constitutes one of the most painful situations a forbidden passion
>like this has to offer.
>
>However, I agree with Jim that the best thing for you to do is to distance
>yourself until this woman gets herself out of her particular situation.
>Being there for her now is noble on your part, but may ultimately serve as
>a
>crutch that allows her to put off the inevitable--namely, the disolution of
>her marriage.
>
>The on-again off-again aspect of her affections may reflect the confusion
>and despair she's feeling in her current relationship, coupled with the
>fact
>that she cares so much for you but isn't quite ready to do what needs to be
>done. If you can find the strength to keep her at arm's distance, that may
>be a key step to eventually getting to the healthy, one-on-one relationship
>it sounds like you both deserve.
>
>sp
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