Re: Burning Pain
Face Inthecrowd (facethecrowd@hotmail.com)
Fri, 05 Nov 1999 20:22:22 -0500 (EST)
Our definition of fool doesn't coincide but I can see where you're coming
from. The right thing to do might be to concentrate my efforts in attaining
enlightenment or a million dollars, but I don't want either of those right
now. I want her. So I probably will do get hurt, it will be from trying to
keep this relationship together. If it stays together, perfect. If it
doesn't, I have lost the ideal woman, the girl of my dreams, but she and her
daughter will be fine, as you said. She does need encouragement to get out
of this sadistic relationship with her husband, not physically, I mean he
doesn't beat her, but in a way that, inside her mind, strangles parts of her
hopes and ideals. Two idealists make a good couple, I know that. Maybe it
won't last. It doesn't matter. I'm prepared to get hurt. I'm not like the
many I people I see who have that look in their eyes, that aching look of
bliss. I get hurt and I recover as if my leg was wounded, I don't use my
leg wound as a source of strength. I almost wish I was pessimistic, that
way I could feed off of the negative, and God knows there's a lot of it.
But I am hopeless in my optimism, and in that case, yes, I can see your
point in my being foolish. But great things are left undone without the
whim of a fool. I'm not sure if I can achieve these great things without
her. Besides, life is utterly pointless for me. I don't give a damn about
much. She cares about nothing much besides who is in her immediate circle,
and that care is very strong. I admire he for that. Imagine everyone cared
for no more than ten people and the excess love was fed to the original ten
and every other sort of care for the world was closed off except for policy
making and political stuff. In that case, everyone would feel very loved
but family reunions would become cliquey as a side effect. Even if the
world doesn't pick up on this belief, I will be a complete man for the
meanwhile, albeit weak and sore. That's what life's about, They say.
>From: AntiUtopia@aol.com
>Reply-To: bananafish@lists.nyu.edu
>To: bananafish@lists.nyu.edu
>Subject: Re: Burning Pain
>Date: Fri, 05 Nov 1999 19:49:13 -0500 (EST)
>
>In a message dated 11/5/99 7:30:07 PM Eastern Standard Time,
>PhishHed@prodigy.net writes:
>
><< > The more you shut up about it, the worse you'll feel, but the better
>off
> > you'll be.
> I'm not sure it's the best thing to keep feelings inside like that.
>
> >>
>
>Four things:
>
>1. See, I was right. I knew before I wrote a word you would not leave
>her.
>And I am also right about you being very unhappy in the future because of
>this relationship. I would dare to say that at some point in the future
>you
>will wish you never met her, wish that you had invested your time in a
>healthier relationship -- or in your own self esteem.
>
>2. I wasn't saying, "Don't talk about it," just "don't talk about it HERE."
>It's not so bad that you're doing it publicly, but you're leaving a written
>record that could, conceivably, last your entire life.
>
>3. She is an adult and can survive quite well without you.
>
>4. Japhe, you are a fool. I mean that. Don't feel too bad, you are in
>very
>good company, and when I was your age I was just as foolish. I still have
>strong streaks of fooldom running all through me. Many people better than
>both of us have been more foolish than you.
>
>But you are still a fool.
>
>Of course, AT LEAST YOU'RE NOT A BLONDE!
>
>She was so blonde that --
>
> > she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said
> > concentrate
> > she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind
> > she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK"
> > she thought 2Pac Shakur was a Jewish holiday
> > she sent me a fax with a stamp on it
> > she tried to drown a fish
> > she thought a quarterback was a refund
> > she tripped over a cordless phone
> > she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept
> > at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here" she put
> > "Sagittarius"
> > when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved
>
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