Re: Lookin' for answers and more. . .

Subject: Re: Lookin' for answers and more. . .
From: chomi cat (
Date: Thu Sep 20 2001 - 23:38:03 GMT

Hi Amber & everyone,

your thoughtful post,

>I hope to stimulate further discussion about
>this notion of a modern day Franny-like existence. Is it
possible? Or have
>I slipped into a personal fantasy world? It is difficult for me to

made me want to add my views to the discussion. i too believe
that even though it isn't franny's 50s world anymore, there is still
many many opportunities of spiritual crisis for the young
girl/woman of today.

i am thinking about franny, and about the only thought that filled
her mind, the "have mercy" prayer. it has also filled my mind and
became my one confused and obssesive thought, in these
strange times. in my case, the little franny-crisis seems caused
by knowing that i am just unable to direct this prayer to anyone or
anything that i could believe in. however it didn't lead me to lose
myself in religious essays. instead i got myself sucked deep into
the TV world, and its endless reruns of disbelief.

>But I don't watch television.
>I strongly believe that this practice has preserved my sanity
during the
>past week.

i am sure it did! and i try to do the same now. this is why i'm
writing a long post tonight, to avoid watching the news:)
i feel like i see things under a much stronger light, since i turned
off the TV. bush spoke not long ago, maybe afterwards they
showed hollywood superstar's reactions. stock market
flashnews. death-death-despair-sunshine citrus soap-tasty
pizza pocket-death-war-death---- TV does only bad things to my
already drowning sense of reality, when now more than ever,
clearness of mind is needed. i don't know what 2001 franny
would do. probably give her TV to lane, and smoke a lot of

also i wanted to say something about school,

Amber has luck:
>I think that my particular school is more challenging than many
of the other
>schools in the area. Students who have cross registered at
Georgia State or
>Georgia Tech or even those who have gone on to graduate
studies at these
>schools or others such as Emory have commented that ASC
had a more
>challenging curriculum.

sadly, i share franny's disillusion with school. i tried 2
universities and then i couldn't go on, and still feel bitter about
the education they promised me and never gave. amber talks
about being given a lot of opportunities, and it somehow
comforts me to know that somewhere, girls my age truly benefits
from their schooling. i still have troubles believing it, maybe
because i never had inspiring teachers - i was hoping for a
sense of sharing, like teachers and other students revealing to
you what they could see in their favorite writings, and talking
about what didn't touched them,etc.. but in the end, i was going
out of all these costly classes with my enthusiasm reduced to
nothing, vague anger and confusion. it was all about trying to
determine which writers are good and which writers are bad!
and teachers never actually read your own writings, they had
faceless asisstants who would correct them, using the most
absurd rating systems. so you could end up getting back a poem
that you spent days writing, rated with a value precise to the
decimals. i bet Will would never do that sort of thing ;)


well, i just failed to my new resolution, and watched the stupid
bush speak rerun. "either you're with us or you're with the
terrorists" i am neither side.

>Not too very long ago I had what one might call a
spiritual/existential crisis
>which was equal parts Albert Camus and J. D. Salinger with a
little Tori
>Amos thrown in for spice.


living in hope too,

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